Grilled Cheese and Cupcakes

There is so much to say about today's events re: E, but tonight is not his night.

This one is about P, one of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. I wrote something about him the other day that I'd like to share with you all (hello? hello?), just to offer up a glimpse at how much he means to me.

One of the best men I've ever met is leaving the country soon (today soon, as it were). There are a lot of girls in New York who will take great pleasure in saying they got to have sex with the hot, young, Irish bartender. Me, I'll have the great pride of saying I actually got to know him.

P has had a huge effect on my life. Every time I had good news, I wanted to rush and share it with him. I wanted my closest friends to meet him. Even if I was feeling somewhat low, just having him around would be calming. He understands me well.

I told him that he's kind-hearted and true, and I meant it. Sometimes we find ourselves giving compliments that are not necessarily true, but this isn't one of them. He's been patient. Every time he saw me, it was like he was very happy to have me in his company. No matter how busy he was, he always found a second to shoot a wink in my direction. The pat on the head, the kisses on the cheek and forehead. He knew how I was feeling and what I wanted without my every saying. He could read my body language like a pro and would come to my side with the flicker of an eye.

P always took an interest in me, which has always been flattering, for lack of better word. Like the older brother I took him to be, he always kept an eye on me, whether it it was stealing my dinner, sneaking me Black Velvets and offering me advice the few times I'd ask. He protected me in a way I was never used to. He wasn't overbearing, but he wasn't negligent. Any time someone approached me, his eyes were sharp to notice for the first signs of my discomfort. My two favorite instances of this involve the time I was propositioned for a threesome and the time I saw him warning a group of guys whose friend had just approached me. In the first case, he told the couple that he was my husband (our favorite defense) and anything I got involved in, he was a part of too. In the second case, he told the boys to keep an eye on their friend because if he bothered me in any way, P would have to ask them to leave.

It's funny how P used to tell the best of the neighborhood creeps that I was his wife as a means of protection when in reality, we almost were married. My reasons for agreeing were, admittedly, a bit mixed. I wasn't romantically interested anymore, but the offer was extremely flattering. Of all the girls he knew, I was the one he trusted most to help him out without wanting anything in return. Me, I wanted to help a friend... and also to have one hell of an adventure. Now I wish we'd gotten married just so he could stay.

Of all the people I've ever been introduced, ours was an introduction I'll never forget. Him saying "maybe I'll remember your name if you give me a good and proper kiss" and being shocked when I agreed. Me saying, "maybe you'd remember my name if you give me a good and proper kiss" and him agreeing. When I told my friends all about how I'd kissed the young, hot, Irish bartender at the pub, I never imagined we would develop this sort of wonderful relationship.

Maybe it's good he's leaving. Maybe it's time to move on and let go. Yet, part of me doesn't want to. I don't want to forget how good I feel in his presence. How I was his girl at the bar, even if I was, as he delighted in reminding me, the bar simpleton. I don't want to selfishly love him for how he makes me feel, so I am happy that he is making it easy to let him go.

That's all for now, kids. My heart is sad to feel him go and I want to quietly, gracefully, let him.