Grilled Cheese and Cupcakes

I've never really had to contemplate going to the pub - it seemed only natural to stop in everyday, even if only for a glass of soda water, some studying, and a bit of conversation with whoever's behind the bar.

Now, it's a bit different, what with P gone. I thought I'd managed to keep myself very well-composed (at least, in comparison to his ex and ex-roommate), and I still do. I haven't cried (at least, not in public.. a few tears shed but I'm not much of a bawler), made last ditch attempts to bed him or even tried to convince him to stay. I'm happy he was here. I'm happy I was here.

So today I've decided to go back to the pub for the first time since he's officially left. I tried to get a friend of mine to join me, but in retrospect, I'm hoping he can't make it. I used to rely so much on the company of others, but being in the pub has taught me something about my own strength in solidarity.

It'll be the old crew working tonight - K working the tables and C behind the bar. C and I have strange relationship, him being not only the pub's manager, but also my first (that's a story for another day). There'll be a live sesiun for certain and maybe even darts in the back. You could glance over it all and not even realize P was gone, but we'll know.

In other news, a fly just rammed straight into the window of the apartment. Stupid fly.